10 Minutes of Prayer

I am really bad at praying. Although it involves one of my favorite things, talking, I just continually fail to have a prayer life that doesn’t fall flat. Talking with other Christians, I hear stories of people praying for hours. Deep into the night praying and crying and connecting with God. Although I have had…

If God is Good Now

24 days ago I got married. As we left the reception, Max and I buzzed through Starbucks and I got a free iced coffee because I was in my wedding dress. I’m not above pulling this stunt again. 17 days ago I moved into the house that Max and I bought together. It’s small and…

The Old Has Gone

  On rare occasion I get into the type of mood that can only be described as the “Perfect Storm.” I am overly caffeinated and faced with a large chunk of time to myself (which is why this is so rare) , when suddenly it’s like all the clutter around me becomes unbearable. All at once,…

The Next Four Years

  Four years ago, I was 22 years old and had my life totally figured out. I was in my second year of teaching and could cook a one course meal using a frying pan. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say, and my roommate Kendra and I blew out the pilot light on our gas fireplace….

What God Does in the Discomfort

Patience and perseverance are not two of my strongest qualities. Unlike some of the Olympian greats, I prefer not to work hard, push through tough circumstances or wait extended periods of time to arrive at what I want. I prefer instant results with the least amount of work and discomfort possible. (Someone write this on an inspirational poster.) Max…

How Replacing One Word Changed So Much

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend said to me, “I feel like you’re just anxious about being anxious right now…” And I replied, “Welcome to my brain. Please stay awhile.” When I told him that I would love to try out his logical, structured, factual engineer brain for a day, he responded, “Does that mean I…

Your Heartbeat is My Favorite Sound: A letter to Sami’s baby

Five weeks ago, I wrote this letter on my lunch break with no intention of ever publishing it. It tells a story that isn’t mine to tell. It was the day before her appointment. The appointment. The appointment that would tell my sweet friend if her baby still had a heartbeat. After multiple losses, deep heartache…

One Year Later: When You Don’t Look Back Anymore

A year ago, I spent many of my lunch breaks in one of my closest friend’s classroom sobbing to her, wondering how I was going to make it through the day. I remember being crumpled on the floor of my little one bedroom apartment, begging God to let me have my way. To give me…

In the Wandering

They say (well, technically J.R.R Tolkien says) that “Not all who wander are lost,” but this is usually not true for me. Most of the time, when I’m wandering, I have no idea where I am. Maybe this wouldn’t be detrimental to someone good at directions. Maybe there are people who can wander far away and…

How to Support Someone Who is Hurting

I can be a bit of a handful. I was talking to one of my guy friends from college on the phone a few weeks ago, catching up and swapping stories about life (he told me if he ever makes my blog, he wanted me to use the alternate name “Crosby*” for him. *name has been changed to…

Faith like Hope: I’m not there right now

I love to write sentences that make everything sound a little more beautiful (some call this exaggeration, I call it wordplay), but words can only do so much when you have things to say that just aren’t pretty. Buckle up for some raw Jenna. It’s been a roller coaster couple of weeks in the area of my faith….

No Matter Where You Are On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s 2009: Went to Pizza Hut on a double date, saw “He’s Just Not that into you” and promptly broke off the relationship the next day (got back together 5 days later) Valentine’s 2010: Young and in love- Went to a banquet where no dancing was allowed so we just took pictures   *As I…