He Saw Mila

Fear has always played a large role in my life. It has robbed me of joy, stolen my peace, and wasted precious time I will never get back. I just put Mila, my 11 week old daughter, down for her first nap of the day. She has this outrageously soft, luxury blanket she was given…

The Weirdest Babymoon Ever

Having a series of dramatic “lasts” before our baby was born was just something I expected. Like a last date night, just the two of us without getting a babysitter. or the last weekend visiting our parents without loading the car full of baby gear. I imagined and expected these last few months before baby…

Pregnancy in the Pandemic

Two months ago, I got a phone call from my doctor that shifted the direction of our pregnancy. These were Pre-Coronavirus times in my area so up until then, my pregnancy had been, for the most part, smooth. (Minus the 14 weeks of throwing up and general physical misery). After some testing I had done…

Mild Anxiety and Medium Salsa

I connect on a personal level with the Grandparents from Willy Wonka – before the whole golden ticket thing. I would live in my bed if I could. My husband will be out meandering around the house and he will come visit me – sometimes with snacks. Those are my favorite times. I cry the…

My Husband’s Jeep

Last Thursday we said goodbye to my husband’s Jeep. We traded it in and bought a “Mom Mobile” for me. My husband Max will pull the ultimate “Dad Move” and now drive my 2013 Honda Civic for the great gas mileage and trusty reliability. The new mid-size SUV is safer and the right move for…

The Doctor’s Scale and Eternal Weight

There are a lot of reasons I shouldn’t care what the scale says tomorrow when I visit the doctor. But I do. My relationship with my weight has been a long and complicated one – since the little old lady at the YMCA fastened my life jacket on our fourth grade field trip at the…

Great Expectations

Fall is hands down the hardest season when it comes to expectations. After a long, stifling summer, we simply cannot wait for all that comes with the cooling weather and turn of the calendar. My friends and I joke that often our own expectations are our worst enemy. I would go as far as to…

Worth the Wait

My husband and I were good friends for 6 months before we went on a date. I cannot take credit for this, because I liked him immediately and was 2 years behind my marriage timeline. There was no time to wait. I was impulsive and emotional. He was logical and strategic. We met at a…

To My Best Friend’s Angel Baby

My best friend gave birth to her stillborn baby boy, Max, on May 8, after suffering the loss of 7 miscarriages. Getting the news of his death was obviously devastating, and like usual, I processed my grief with words and sent this to her the day she found out. I have watched my friend grieve…

The Best Thing My Husband Has Ever Said to Me

I say a lot of words in our marriage. I operate under the assumption that if I have a thought, there is only one place for it to go: out. The amount of words I say to my husband in a week couldn’t possibly be calculated. Things like, “my knee is itching weird.” or Pressing…