Last week, an unnamed 1 year old in our home was struggling.

It felt like every minute he was instigating something. 

Why are 1 year olds SUCH 1 year olds?

He was being aggressive in many creative ways and the tantrums felt nonstop if I dared to use Chapstick without giving him full eating access. Or if I held my own phone while Facetiming when he preferred to give my mom the Forehead Show.

Worst of all, his sister had the audacity to try and play independently and quietly at the kitchen table with Non-toddler friendly activities. The most off-limits of scenes for my sweet 1 year old, as the Play-Doh seemed to be the most alluring thing on the planet.

It was a struggle.

At one point, I wrapped Mila in my arms after separating them for the umpteenth time – tears in both of our eyes – because he had been so awful to her. 

I had planned to try to get a workout done downstairs, but knew attempting this is brave on a good morning and delusional on a bad one. The only true exercise I would get in that basement was reffing the kids and the only real movement would be my blood pressure.

We scrapped those plans and headed outside. I loaded the kids into the stroller with some snacks and then we walked.

They quietly ate while I chatted with Mila and we strolled the neighborhood on a beautiful morning with a cool breeze.

She finished her Veggie Straws much faster than James so naturally, she began asking for him to share his. 

I left it up to him if he wanted to share or not, but soon, he shoved his chubby hand into his cup and offered his sister one, then two, then three.

Suddenly the sweetness of that moment came over me and I felt a deep happiness and gratitude.

I tend to be an “all or nothing” personality.

 I see things in black or white and have a hard time with nuance. The gray makes me uncomfortable.

I am the one using the “You always!” And “You never!”

Once I am in a negative headspace, it is easy for me to allow the negativity to fill in over everything.

A prayer that has been powerful for me as a Mom is asking God to give me “eyes that see the good.” 

That morning was so hard last week, but I was able to reset and keep my eyes open to the little moments of good.

Eyes that saw the kindness of the Fed Ex driver who happily gave the requested  “Beep Beep” after he pulled away.

Eyes that saw chunky toddler hands share a snack with his sister.

Eyes that saw my 4 year old practice forgiveness over and over and over. Every time James said “Sorry,” she forgave him wholly, even though minutes before, I was picking her hair of those same snack-sharing, chubby hands after he yanked it out.

Eyes that saw the beauty of a cool summer morning and neighborhood kids playing at the park.

I allowed the good to overwhelm me and the bad to melt away.

The day turned around, but even if it hadn’t – with eyes open, it is easier to pull out little moments of goodness.

Working to see the good is ongoing for me as I tend to lean towards negativity, but even in my marriage and friendships, this has been so life giving.

I hope one day to be one of those “Positive People.” Not the toxic positive kind, but the kind who truly walks in the light despite the adversity they go through.

For starters, it is choosing to see the good every single day amidst the hard and bad and chaotic. It is zooming out of a single moment to see the bigger picture and broader perspective.

I pray He continues to give me eyes that see all the good that is there if only I keep them open long enough.